In most households there is something that we like to call the “dryer monster” that seems to make socks disappear without a trace. In my house though, we do not have a dryer monster (although the dryer does regularly eat clothes and ruin them). What we have in our house I have not-so-lovingly named “The Vortex”. The Vortex lives in an undisclosed area of our house and it mostly eats shoes. It especially seems to enjoy the flavor of the girls’ shoes, but on occassion it will also eat mine and the boys’ shoes. It seems to prefer a variety of shoes…it won’t ever eat an entire pair of shoes…only one at a time and then it moves on to the next pair.

Currently the girls have about 5 pairs of shoes that fit their feet. I have spent the last few days searching and searching for all their shoes and so has Jan. They have one, count it, ONE complete set of shoes. (ie, all three matching pairs) And do you know why they have one complete set? Because I gave up looking for the missing shoe and bought a whole other pair! This is frustrating. Shoes are expensive. I have looked in their room, under their beds, in their toys, all around the house, behind the washer and dryer, outside, in the cars…you get the idea. I have a bad feeling that we are never going to be seeing all those shoes again. Sad.

The Vortex, while normally prefering shoes, sometimes also eats things like measuring cups, sippy cups and sometimes even Bryce’s homework. If only I could find that Vortex. I’d be a millionaire.